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We Need to Talk: How to Have Conversations That Matter, by Celeste Headlee
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“WE NEED TO TALK.”Now in paperback, public radio journalist Celeste Headlee's insightful and urgent book on how to bridge what divides us--by having real conversationsBASED ON THE TED TALK WITH OVER 10 MILLION VIEWSNPR's Best Books of 2017“We Need to Talk is an important read for a conversationally-challenged, disconnected age. Headlee is a talented, honest storyteller, and her advice has helped me become a better spouse, friend, and mother.” (Jessica Lahey, author of New York Times bestseller The Gift of Failure)Today most of us communicate from behind electronic screens, and studies show that Americans feel less connected and more divided than ever before. The blame for some of this disconnect can be attributed to our political landscape, but the erosion of our conversational skills as a society lies with us as individuals. And the only way forward, says Headlee, is to start talking to each other. In We Need to Talk, she outlines the strategies that have made her a better conversationalist—and offers simple tools that can improve anyone’s communication. For example: BE THERE OR GO ELSEWHERE. Human beings are incapable of multitasking, and this is especially true of tasks that involve language. Think you can type up a few emails while on a business call, or hold a conversation with your child while texting your spouse? Think again.CHECK YOUR BIAS. The belief that your intelligence protects you from erroneous assumptions can end up making you more vulnerable to them. We all have blind spots that affect the way we view others. Check your bias before you judge someone else.HIDE YOUR PHONE. Don’t just put down your phone, put it away. New research suggests that the mere presence of a cell phone can negatively impact the quality of a conversation. Whether you’re struggling to communicate with your kid’s teacher at school, an employee at work, or the people you love the most—Headlee offers smart strategies that can help us all have conversations that matter.
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Product details
Paperback: 272 pages
Publisher: Harper Wave; Reprint edition (September 18, 2018)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 006266901X
ISBN-13: 978-0062669018
Product Dimensions:
5.3 x 0.6 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.4 out of 5 stars
87 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#77,829 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
As a professor and psychologist, I converse a lot with people from all walks of life. I thought I was a good conversationalist because of all the practice I had...that is until I read this book. Using tons of social science research to back up her claims, Celeste Headlee dives deep into what is wrong with our conversations and how to fix it. I found myself nodding a lot while I read. Yep, I make that mistake. Oh no, I make that mistake too...all. the. time. Luckily I didn't have to beat myself up too long before Celeste would gift me with data-supported advice on ways to address the mistake she just helped me uncover. I've already seen her advice pay huge dividends in conversations with my kids, spouse, and colleagues. Seriously, this is a must read...for anyone...especially if you think you already know all you need to about conversations. It's going to be my go-to gift from now on. Seriously, buy it. You won't regret it. I surely don't.
Celeste Headlee did a good job explaining how her work as a Georgia Publuc Radio host is like being in a lab where she can practice listening skills. She also offers many practical tips. I actually put those tips to practice at work and with family and noticed two things. First, when you let people know you are really listening and will not argue or try to change their minds, they will open up. Especially if they feel respected. Second, I learned listening well is hard. Really hard.
As people become more polarized and listen only to people and press that they agree with we need more and more to talk with each other. Celeste Headlee has suggested some simple procedures that make conversations between people who have different ideas and beliefs both possible and beneficial. "We Need to Talk" is straight forward and easy to read. She has included lots to research to make her points - like the information about why we think we are multi-tasking even though brain research shows that we can't. I am shocked that my attention span is less than a goldfish and frightened that our ability to empathize has dropped by 40%. This information helps us understand why having a conversation is hard and why we need to have many more. Personally, I believe our lives and our world would be significantly better if we learn and practice conversations as she suggests.
I read and excerpt of the book on social media and determined that I needed this book in my library. I highly recommend this book as a must-read for everyone.
It was watching Headlee's brilliant TED talk about how to have better conversations that eventually led to me reading this book. Although her talk didn't "blow my mind" - like many other TED talks have done - she really struck a chord in me with her straightforward and surprisingly obvious advice. After reading the book, the TED talk seems like the perfect "trailer" for it. In short, this is one of those books that everyone would benefit from reading. It's an easy read, written with a passion for the subject at hand that shines through the whole text. This book might be seen as a warning in a society more and more dominated by social media and its electronic devices, but it is driven by a genuine desire to help and thoroughly backed by an impressive amount of scientific material. Headlee shows us why we "need to talk" as part of the human experience, how modern life is taking that away from us, how we can reclaim this part of our humanity and why we would benefit from doing so. In that respect this is probably one of the most important books written in years.
I feel this book is poorly written and ineffectually formatted and organized. The text has little do with the title. I was disappointed by this lost opportunity regarding a vital topic.
I enjoyed learning about many of the research studios and the many ways communication and conversation have been studied. I spotted some areas where I can improve. I appreciated the author’s willingness to share some of her personal experiences.In an odd way, the book itself could get caught in the weeds, from the author’s earnest attempt to make her points in favor of improving conversation skills.This book is one that asks not just to be read, but to be practiced and implemented. I’m committed to doing my part - as I see where I have some resistance. ~Rox
As the speaker in one of my favorite, all-time TED Talks, called 10 Ways to Have a Better Conversation, I expected a lot - I got it. Her TED Talk left me wanting more and she delivered. She debunks a lot of "advice" that has been given in other books for years. Celeste tells it in a clear concise way that leaves you thinking: Gee she's right. Why haven't I ever noticed that before? If you want to become a better listener - follow her advice - it works.
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